Burglary lemons? Make happiness lemonade.
Last week, a friend mentioned to me that he broke his dining room table. I, on the other hand, had a spare dining room table, an enormous monstrosity which was part of the furniture ensemble that filled up my Atlanta McMansion back in the day. Some of the local degenerates stole the companion pieces during our 2015 burglary, so this set was just sitting around taking up space. Since this friend, his brother, and his son have helped me about a billion times over the years, I told him he could have it.